It’s Okay to Not Be Okay

Sometimes there is just nothing happy about the holidays. All the hustle and bustle are exhausting. For reasons that are uniquely our own, our heart isn’t in it.

Not too many people will tell you this, so hear it here. It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay for the sadness that aches in your soul to leak out of your eyes. It’s okay for the loneliness that lives in every pore of your body to rub off onto the world around you. It’s okay for the heaviness of your heart to weigh you down so you can hardly move. It’s okay to not put on a happy face to make the people around you feel better.

It’s all called being human and living with heartbreak.

Heartbreak doesn’t go on holiday just because it is the holidays. It never takes a break. In fact, deep aches and sadnesses can feel even greater at this time of the year. We measure the distance between where we are and where the rest of the world seems to be and it is an insurmountable number of light years.

So, cut yourself some slack. Honor where you are and know you are doing the best you can. Choose carefully the activities you will participate in and the places you will go. Seek out places where you will be accepted for where you are. People who love you will not see you as a downer. They will have compassion for your pain and receive you as you are. You deserve nothing less.

The cultural celebration of Christmas is a sham. The pressure to buy things we can’t afford for people who already have too much is overwhelming. The expectation of a happy face and joyful spirit is sometimes just too much to ask. Living up to cultural expectations is not a requirement.

The story we celebrate as people of faith is a tale of good news that came to the last, the least and the lost. Mary and Joseph were refugees, yet they were chosen to bring the message of God’s unshakeable love into the world. The shepherds were social outcasts because they were dirty and smelled like sheep. The Wise Ones were in search of something different than they had found in their lives to that point. A corrupt leader was threatened because he was scared of losing his power.

The message of the Incarnation is that God comes to us as we are in the moment. We need not pretend to be anything other than who we are. We need not pretend that we are in a different place than we are. The message of the Incarnation is that what is lowly is lifted up, what is broken is made whole and what is downtrodden finds rest.

For this year, if the Christmas game isn’t one you want to play, it’s okay. If you are running short on Ho Ho Ho and feeling more like Boo Hoo Hoo, it’s okay. Don’t let anyone guilt on you saying you are wallowing or being a bah humbug.  Instead, know there are countless people feeling just like you. Though you may feel alone or be physically alone, there are many people who walk the same path.

Pretending takes too much energy. Just be who you are. Just be where you are. I am standing beside you in love and with encouragement. You got this.