God Before F-bombs: Guest Blogger Rem Remington

Recently, during a John Kabat-Zinn meditation, I had what I believe was a visit from, get this, the Holy Spirit! I totally freaked out!! It was awesome: an upwelling of love like I had never felt before. I didn’t really hear any words, like God talking, but there was surely a message. And here it is: God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, the Force, Nature or whatever you want to call it loves us. I mean really, really loves us and cares for us. I have been hearing that my entire life, but this was real at a whole different deeper level. I sat up and thought, “Holy crap!”

I was overcome with a desire to praise and thank God because it was such a freaking wonderful thing that happened. I felt incredibly blown away and it was great!! I also had an overwhelming desire to get the message out there. Sooo, I sent my pastor a barely readable email asking to see her as soon as possible.

I felt like the Holy Spirit spoke to me and gave me a message. What was I supposed to do with that!?! I didn’t want people to think I was a whack job, but I had this overwhelming feeling that I had to tell people.

 I felt really energetic and decided to mow the lawn (after blowing it off for days). I guess I got a little overzealous and tripped on a little stick and pulled my hamstring. My pastor thought this might be significant. I agree; I think it was God reminding me that you can have an awesome experience and still live in the real world where f-bombs and people live.

During the week I met with my pastor. She listened to my story. She confirmed that it seemed I really did have a religious experience and that the Holy Spirit came to me! I kept reading the books she gave me and they’re helping. (Holy Spirit Here and Now by Trevor Hudson, Forty Days with the Holy Spirit by Jack Levison)

I shared my story with my wife. My wife’s first reaction when I told her about it was “hmmm.” No big reaction. She always knew her husband was a little weird, a little offbeat but okay. She wasn’t blown away like I was. I also shared it with my son and we discussed the “are you a whack job” question I had been asking myself.

The following Sunday morning on the way to church I had an incredible sensation of exuberance: of praise God and holy s*** don’t drive off the side of the freaking road! I was yelling at the top of my lungs, hallelujah Lord, praise God! It was awesome and incredible! I couldn’t f****** believe that this was happening to me. It was like a whole choir singing in my head!

Once at church, I jumped out of the truck and started yelling, “hallelujah praise God! Oh wonderful! I can’t believe this!” I still wondered if I was crazy. A friend helped me get to the pastor’s office because we were both afraid somebody might call 911. Frankly, I was a little scared that I was having some kind of a mental blow out! So I sat down with my pastor and we talked about what was happening. She said I was definitely sounding a little manic and I could frighten people. I realized I needed to dial it down a bit; and my pastor needed to make sure I wasn’t having a mental health issue.  

But, I also thought, what if this isn’t the Holy Spirit? I had been having a lot of sinus headaches and was glad to see I had a doctor’s appointment at the end of the week. What if it wasn’t sinus headaches and there was something going on in my brain? All this excitement would be for nothing. But after talking to people, I was still thinking this was the real deal. I guess if it turned out to be a mental health issue or a brain tumor, I would turn to my church to help me through it. Or if it turned out to be the real deal, they would be there to encourage and support me.

Some may still think I am a whack job and that’s okay. I know that what happened to me was real. It showed me the love of God in a whole new way and it was wonderful. I decided to share my experience in the hope that it might encourage others in their faith.

Editing Out takes: I tried to take out a few things that didn’t advance the narrative and tighten it up a little bit. I changed tenses for uniformity and edited for reading instead of speaking. It’s down to 700 plus words which is about the length of my posts. If you are not happy with the edits, let me know what isn’t working for you and make some suggestions. Then I will work on it some more.

If possible, I would like this to run on October 6^th, which means I need to have it finished by October 2^nd. I am having ankle reconstruction surgery on the 4^th and I think I will be a loopy mess for a while. 

I knew that something incredible was happening. I felt alive and super aware of everything around me. Something drew my attention to the deck behind my house I looked out and saw four mourning doves just hanging out, resting not perched or standing, but flat out laying down. They were looking at me, and I was looking at them. I could not believe it! I felt incredibly honored that these birds would grace me with their presence. I know it was something special. I took a video of them and first thing I did was question my sanity, as I imagine anyone would. Someone else might see the video and say, “so what, birds do this all the time” which would really make me question my sanity, but it doesn’t change the fact that this was an incredible moment for me.

Luckily, on my way to church I saw one of our deacons was walking. I think I locked up on the brakes pulled over to the side of the road; probably scared the s*** out of him. I demanded he jump in the truck with me, which was very brave on his part cuz at that point I’m  going crazy yelling “hallelujah, oh my God I can’t believe this! Oh please help.”

After a week at (boy) Scout camp, I was feeling tired and a little achy, but I went to church to help with the online broadcast. Before I left I decided I would do a body scan meditation by John Cabot Zinn. It was the best body scan meditation I ever did. I usually have trouble with it; I fall asleep, my mind wanders and blah blah. So I did this body scan meditation but I did it a little differently, I kept my eyes open, and it was easy. It just worked.