What the Hell Happened?

A year or so ago I was in high school. Last week I graduated from college. Earlier this year I marked thirty-seven years of ordained ministry. I have just one question. What the hell happened?

How did so much time go by so fast? It’s a question we asked when I was gathered with a group of my friends from high school for the sad occasion of one of our mom’s death. She was like mom to us. We were in and out of each other’s houses at all hours of the day and night. We just showed up, browsed through the fridge if we were hungry and hung out like we lived there.

Most of us are blessed if we have one second home. I am lucky enough to have had four. We have been there for each other through thick and thin for over fifty years.

Over a few glasses of wine we shook our heads and wondered what the hell happened? How did life go flying by so fast?

I’ve had a lot of time to think this past week (it’s not always a good thing, but I’m giving it my best shot anyway), and here’s what’s been rolling around in my head.

I know time is time is time. I also know that my moms were right when they said time goes faster as you get older.

It is humbling to realize more of life has been lived than is yet to be lived.

Time is precious mostly because there is so little of it but also because of the people who make time count and make life worth living.

To have friends for over fifty years is pretty cool.

Wine is a good thing.

Finding a few laughs in the midst of sadness is okay. It’s part of what makes the sadness bearable.

Memory is a great gift. Sure, it makes the losses harder because of all the good times, but it also makes the present tolerable.

Telling stories is a cornerstone of grief and healing.

Tears are a gift when there are no words.

Time is promised to no one, so if you happen to get a bunch of it, be grateful. Even with the aches and pains and creaks and groans and the occasional breaking heart, it is a good thing.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. That’s a good thing, too.

One day at a time is good advice. I am discovering it is also about all I can handle.

Loss is inevitable. No one will ever fill the space left in your heart when someone you love dies. Still, loneliness is optional.

You can only do what you can do. Some things just have to go by without being tended to. Having limits is part of being human.

It is humbling and annoying when the limits aren’t as far out ahead as they used to be.

I’m still not sure what the hell happened, but figuring out seems less important than living in the moment and making sure it counts.

And did I mention wine is a good thing?