Today is my sixty-eighth birthday. Most days I live as though I had all the time in the world, but the truth of the matter is, I have lived far more days than I have left to live. I don’t think about it a lot, but when I do it is rather humbling.
There are days I spend enormous amounts of time doing nothing, bingeing on Netflix, thinking something to death and thinking about it some more. I used to say I was wasting time, but in truth there is always something that is working on me unconsciously. There is value to this time, although from an observational standpoint it seems pointless. I have learned not to apologize.
I am a journal keeper and I spend hours journaling my innermost thoughts. I work out a lot of my own stuff on the pages of my journal. Most early morning hours will find me hunched over my journal writing madly away about whatever is uppermost in my mind that day. It is often a stream of consciousness writing that finds me in a place I never imagined I would go. I fill at least one journal a month, and after fifty years of the practice I have boxes and boxes and boxes of notebooks. They tell the story of my life in all its beauty and brokenness.
Spending time with family is a priority. I take care of my ninety-one-year-old dad a couple days a week. In the past eighteen months I have spent more time with him than I have in my entire life. He was a trucker and spent a lot of time away from home. He was always there for the important stuff, to be sure, but day to day found him miles away. I treasure this time with him in his fading years, there is nowhere else I would rather be. I also have a sister, and we squeeze in what time we can. We are on opposite schedules in taking care of dad.
I treasure the time I spend with my wife. I spent years waiting for this wonderful woman to come into my life. Now that she is here, I will not waste a single minute. I savor our time together whether we are doing something special or just hanging out at home. Even cleaning house together is cause for celebration.
Time with friends is also a priority, though at times it gets squished in by the demands of full-time ministry and tasks of keeping home and hearth together. Still, even when we can’t be together as often as we like, the love we have for one another reaches across the void and keeps us connected.
I guess I am one of the lucky ones. I get to put my life together pretty much as I want and I know a great level of contentment in how my days unfold. Sometimes it’s just good to sit back and consider this amazing gift called life.
Sure, the world is a mess, our country teeters on the brink of too many disasters to name, and our planet is crying for help and deliverance from our selfishness and exploitation. That just serves to make me committed to living each day with purpose. Remembering that I can’t fix it keeps me from despair. Yet, I also know doing nothing is not an option. So, I decrease the amount of household plastics we use, buy earth friendly products, recycle and eat lower on the food chain. As the old Native American proverb goes, “If everyone swept in front of their own teepee, the world would be a cleaner place.”
I also use my voice and my platform to speak truth to power and try desperately to wake people up to what is happening. I have the privilege of preaching the gospel each Sunday and pray for the wisdom and humility to feed the flock entrusted to me for this moment in time with faithfulness and integrity.
I learned a while ago that tomorrow is promised to no one. Years of working for hospice and seeing that death is no respecter of persons or of age drove that lesson home loud and clear. Time is not something to take for granted. So even though I may not use every minute in the most productive way, I am not bound by our culture’s definition of productivity. I cherish the rhythm of my days and as I close my eyes to sleep each night I remember to count my blessings, acknowledge my failures and celebrate the gift of making one more circle ‘round the sun.
Check out Peter Mayer’s song on my music page.
The Irreverent Reverend 