The Irreverent Reverend

It’s no secret that we have broken every promise to the Native American community since the beginning of the colonial period. We have stolen their lands and confined them to reservations. We have not supported the infrastructure that allows for clean running water and proper sanitation. Lack of resources has resulted in soaring drug and alcohol abuse rates and disproportionate unemployment rates.

There is another, even less reported truth in Native Communities: the disappearance of Native women and girls. According to the Murdered and Missing Indigenous Women website, “as of 2016 the National Crime Information Center has reported 5,712 cases of missing American Indian and Alaska Native women and girls. Strikingly, the US Department of Justice missing persons database has only reported 116 cases. The majority of these murders are committed by non-Native people on Native owned land. The lack of communication combined with jurisdictional issues between state, local, federal and tribal law enforcement make it nearly impossible to begin the investigative process.”

It is important to note from the outset that this is not only a problem on reservation lands, but in cities across the United States. According to the report, Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls: a Snapshot of data from 71 Urban Cities in the United States, 506 cases from 71 cities from Boston to Seattle were identified. Fifty-six percent were murdered, 25 percent were classified as missing and 19 percent had an unknown cause. This likely is severe under-reporting due to the limited resources of urban Indian health institutes and poor data collection by numerous cities. Seventy-one percent of American Indian and Alaskan Native women and girls live in urban areas. This includes LGBTQ, non-binary and Two Spirit individuals who suffer disproportionately higher degrees of violence, just as they do in white communities.

Beyond all the statistics there are other, more troubling reasons that missing Native American women and girls are under-reported. One is what the late Gwen Ifill called “Missing White Woman Syndrome.” This refers to the disproportionate coverage given to white women who go missing or are murdered, as compared to people of color. The recent coverage of Gabby Petito is a good example. As I noted last week, blond hair and blue eyes make the news cycle every time.

A second reason is the overall invisibility of Native people in our culture. Our cultural stereotypes of indigenous peoples stretch back to colonial days. The only positive image many people have of indigenous peoples is that they helped the early settlers and shared the first Thanksgiving meal. Unfortunately this is mostly myth. But it helps us feel better about ourselves as white people. Beyond this historic myth, images of Native peoples are portrayed in barbaric and violent images and stories, which are largely hyperbolic. This means that our images of Native peoples are hugely distorted. And since people of color do not sell news stories and newspapers, there is little opportunity for correction.

A third and perhaps most troubling reason is indifference. As long as Native American women and girls remain invisible we do not have to deal with the horrible reality of skyrocketing rates of violence, rape and murder against them. It may flit across our news screen for a nanosecond, but we are able to easily dismiss it as something that is “reservation business” despite the fact that many Native American and Alaskan Native women live in urban areas. It has to do with who we see as fully human and who matters. People of color matter less in our culture, no matter what the color of their skin.

The crisis of disappearing Native Women and Alaskan Native women and girls is a social and a theological problem. It is social because it rests on institutional racism that protects white privilege. It is theological because it denies the essential personhood of individuals who are created in the image of God and have inherent dignity and worth. It is important to note that the religious or spiritual practice of the women is irrelevant. For those of us who claim the Abrahamic faiths (Islam, Judaism and Christianity) each person, regardless of belief, is endowed with worth and value by the Creator.

It is the action of the Creator and not the result of any action, behavior or belief of the individual. The truth is that God loves all people regardless of creed, skin color, gender, sexual orientation/identity or ethnic identity. God’s love and worth are bestowed upon all people (and creation too) regardless of our approval/disapproval, understanding/lack of understanding or judgement.

There are things we can do. Find out if your state keeps statistics on violence against Native women. If not, lobby for it to do so. Educate yourself about Native communities and the unique dynamics that impact factors that cause violence. Mostly, dig deep for compassion and awareness.  Our ancestors of the land need our voices and our action. Let’s not break yet another commitment to this marginalized community.

It was a story for about a minute. It never made the national news. The networks were too busy carrying the story of Gabby Petito. This is, of course, its own tragedy; a young woman was apparently murdered by a controlling and abusive boyfriend while on a cross country camping trip. Blond hair and blue eyes win the day for news stories.

The story that did not make the national news is that of Jurnee Hoffmeyer, a bi-racial seven year old girl who attends a Mount Pleasant Public school in Michigan. It began when a classmate of Jurnee cut her hair. It happens; kids play with hair styles and make up. Jurnee’s haircut by a fellow student was a prank and her father did not pursue it after notifying the school because the cutter was a child. Following Jurnee’s unfortunate haircut her father took her to a professional stylist to have her hair cut in a dissymmetric style.  

The trouble started the next day when Kelly Mogg, the school’s librarian, and Kristen Jacobs, a teacher’s assistant, took it upon themselves to cut Jurnee’s hair without the parent’s permission. The story only became news when Jurnee’s father filed a lawsuit for $1 million dollars alleging racial discrimination. According to the Daily Mail the suit also alleges ethnic intimidation, intentional infliction of emotional distress and assault and battery. The suit further alleges that the teachers violated Jurnee’s constitutional rights. While the teachers’ actions were in violation of school policy, the lawsuit states that school personnel met the father’s complaint with deliberate indifference. A note was placed in each of the employee’s files, but no further disciplinary action was taken. The principal was, according to the Daily Mail, only interested in what she could do to make it “go away.” Other teachers were aware of the incident but failed to report it, even though it went against school policy.

According to the Daily Mail, “The school board said the independent investigation found no racial bias and included interviews with district personnel, students and families and a review of video and photos including posts on social media. District administrators also performed an internal review of the incident.”

But Jurnee’s father said “the district never questioned him or Jurnee.”

This is classic white privilege at work. The white principal and white school employees were given a pass for their behavior. Code words like “investigation” and “proper procedure” hide the reality that they did nothing. There was no genuine accountability for anyone. When people of color are victimized, often the only redress available is the legal system, which may or may not proffer a better justice. This story would not have become news at all if it were not for the lawsuit.

Let’s be clear; this never would have happened if Jurnee were a white girl.   

The “it’s only hair” argument holds no sway. In Black culture, hair is of great significance. Allowing their hair to be natural is a reminder to some that they are descendants of enslaved people. According to the BBC, “in early African civilizations, hairstyles could indicate a person’s family background, tribe and social status.” “Just about everything about a person’s identity could be learned by looking at the hair,” says journalist Lori Tharps. According to CRResearch.com, every Black woman has “their own personal stories, experiences, and journeys with their hair.” Jurnee’s journey with her own hair was decided for her by clueless teachers.

This was as much a violation of Jurnee’s personhood as unwanted touch or sexual assault. The trauma of a person in a position of power and authority is not mediated by others’ evaluation of the seriousness of the event. Trauma is trauma. And given the cultural issues related to hair in the Black community the trauma is clear and unmistakable.

The Michigan school district where the incident took place is about 4% Black. There are 25,000 students in the district. In a predominantly white environment it is likely that little cultural sensitivity taught. There certainly is none expected.

Jurnee will have years of work ahead of her to absorb and process this experience. The violation of personhood is not something easily left behind. This is its own tragedy. A young girl was traumatized by insensitive teachers and school administrators whose main concern was making it go away.

It is a whole different tragedy that there is such cultural insensitivity, lack of compassion, understanding and lack of accountability for those who acted out of their privilege and judgement about what would “look better.”

Second, educators are in a position of power over their students. Whenever there is a power imbalance, it is the responsibility of the person with more power to use it in service of the one with lesser power. The good intentions of the teachers were irrelevant. They misused their power and authority to impose their will on a young child.

Without specific training and the unvarnished addressing of white privilege followed by accountability, there are probably countless more incidents that will never make the news because the next blond hair blue eyed woman who goes missing will make the headlines.

Those of us who are outraged by recent legislation in Texas having to do with voter suppression, women’s reproductive rights and the move toward vigilantism have some reason to be hopeful. Some of the hopefulness lies in the legal battle these new laws will face; however, a more immediate source of hope is the power of the purchase.

As consumers we have far more power than we imagine. Corporations understand the bottom line which is the profit margin. When we exercise our power as consumers we can impact that bottom line in negative ways. We can boycott companies that contributed funds that helped pass the legislation. We can refuse to do business with companies that are based in Texas. Is it going to hurt? Probably. Is it going to be inconvenient? Most likely, but imagine how much it will impact women who do not have access to reproductive health care and people whose vote is marginalized because of district gerrymandering. Using the power of the purchase is a concrete way we can express our disdain for Texas politics. This becomes much more powerful when we write to the CEOs and let them know why we are boycotting their company.

Here are a few companies that supported the Texas legislation limiting women’s reproductive health care:

• AT&T
• Charter Communications
• USAA Insurance
• Farmers Insurance
• United Healthcare
• Anthem
• General Motors
• CVS Health
• Comcast/NBC Universal
• State Farm
• Berkshire Hathaway
• Chevron
• Union Pacific

According to Newsletter, Popular Information, these companies have also held themselves out as champions of women’s empowerment and equality.

Texas is offering numerous incentives for companies to do business there. Tax breaks, signing bonuses and promises of lower operating costs are just a few things corporations and the state of Texas are doing to entice businesses to relocate.  Here are businesses already located in Texas:

• Pizza Hut
• AT&T
• Keller Williams Realty
• Dell
• American Airlines
• Tenet Healthcare
• JC Penney
• Whole Foods
• Southwest Airlines
• Shell Petroleum
• Exxon Mobil
• Social Security
• Sysco
• Frito-Lay
• Kimberly Clark
• 7 Eleven
• Texas Instruments
• Michaels
• USAA Insurance
• GameStop
• Sally Beauty Holdings
• Dr. Pepper/Snapple
• iHeartMedia
• Chuck E. Cheese
• Pier 1 Imports
• The Container Store
• Valero Energy
• Six Flags

The list goes on and on and more companies will be moving to Texas to take advantage of the favorable business climate. Being an informed consumer can bring some pressure to bear especially when letters are attached to petitions and boycotts are publicized to engage more people.

Boycotts do have a successful track record. They contribute to progressive social change, as well as succeeding with more immediate goals. Reaching back to 1791, the English boycott of sugar produced by slaves caused the sale of sugar to fall between a third and half. Indian sugar, which was not produced by slaves, rose ten-fold in two years. It was one of the earliest examples of fair trade consumerism.

More recent examples of successful boycotts include:

• Twitter permanently suspended Donald Trump’s account due in large part to the threat of an advertising boycott of the social media platform by #BanTrumpforDemocracy.
• Following a ten year battle waged by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, Fortnum and Mason decided to stop selling foie gras. The campaign involved thousands of letters, advertising and widespread boycott of the product.
• After nearly ten years of campaigning by Palestinian human rights activists, Ben and Jerry’s announced it would stop selling ice cream in grocery stores in illegal Israeli settlements on Palestinian land.   Vermonters for Justice spearheaded the boycott call by meeting with Ben and Jerry’s officials, letter writing campaigns and boycotting Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.
• Mexico’s president cancelled the construction permits and water rights held by brewing company Constellation Brands. Mexicali Resiste called for a boycott of Constellation Brands in 2018 after it gained access to the desert region’s drinking water supply and threatened to use up to 20% of the city’s water.
• Multiple companies severed ties with the National Rifle Association citing ongoing gun violence and the stonewalling of meaningful gun control laws by the organization.  Delta Airlines, United Airlines, Hertz, Budget, Avis, Best Western and Wyndham Hotels all stated they would no longer offer discounts to NRA members. In addition First National Bank of Omaha announced it would end a Visa credit card it offered with NRA branding. All the companies faced boycotts for their links to the NRA after the association called for arming teachers and speaking out against student gun control activists in the wake of the Parkland school shooting.

There is power in the purchase. Choose a few companies you have supported and commit to boycotting them. Encourage your friends to do the same. Start a petition. A quick online search will give the name and address of the CEO. Write that person a letter and tell them why you are boycotting.

Put your money where your values are.

Resources

The Houston Chronicle

The Ethical Consumer

Wikipedia

News about women is dominating the headlines, and most of it isn’t good.

• Texas has just passed the most restrictive abortion laws in the country and other states have vowed to use their example to pass similar laws.
• The Taliban is wasting no time rolling back the rights of women and girls under its repressive regime in Afghanistan.
• A new document about the military reports 6,290 instances of sexual assault during FY 2020. This resulted in only 50 sexual offense convictions under the Uniform Code of Military Justice
• Mike Richards, Executive Producer of Jeopardy and guest host, steps down under fire for offensive comments about women (and Jewish people and the nation of Haiti).
• Governor Andrew Cuomo resigns amid multiple sexual assault and harassment allegations.
• Despite being accused by over 60 women, Bill Cosby’s sentence is vacated by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court.
• Other men accused of sexual harassment and assault include: Matt Lauer, Harvey Weinstein, Tony Robbins, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Brett Kavanaugh, Morgan Freeman, Tom Brokaw, Charlie Rose and the countless men who have not been held accountable for their offenses against women.
• Internationally 1 in 3 women have experienced physical or sexual violence. According to the World Health Organization that statistic has remained steady for the last decade.
• United Nations Executive Director for Women in Global Health, Phumzile Nerambo-Ngeuke, says it is “the most widespread and persistent human rights violation in the world.”
• Every 68 seconds an American is sexually assaulted; 90% are women.

This all translates into a war on women that is as old as time.

The Abrahamic religions (Judaism, Christianity and Islam) have historically been more a part of the problem than the solution. The tendency to proof text (take particular verses of Scripture out of context) has given a lop-sided view of how the Holy sees humanity and our responsibilities to one another. There are stories of violence against women in the First or Old Testament such as Dinah (Genesis 34), Levite’s concubine (Judges 19), Tamar (2 Samuel 13) and Jepthah’s daughter (Judges 11).

In the Second or New Testament there are verses about wives being subject to their husbands (Ephesians 5:22) and women remaining silent in the church (1 Corinthians 14:34-35). These verses taken out of context have had the historic effect of diminishing women’s agency over their own lives and putting religion in service of patriarchy rather than the Holy One.

Muslim Scholar and activist Sharifa Alkhateeb says the most abused verse of the Koran is ayah 34 of Surah 4: “Men are protectors and maintainers of women because Allah gave more to the one than the other…. Concerning women whose rebellious disloyalty you fear, admonish them, then refuse to share their beds, then hit them; but if they become obedient, do not seek means of annoyance against them. For Allah is Most High, Great.”

Yet there are narratives throughout the Testaments and the Koran that celebrate the strength and agency of women. These texts have long been ignored and it is time to lift them up as part of the witness of women in sacred texts.

The witness of Esther is about a woman’s resilience and resolve to not be humiliated and taken advantage of by her husband. The witness of Puah and Shiffra in Exodus 1 is a narrative of two women who refused to obey Pharaoh’s command to kill all male Hebrew children (Exodus 1:15-21). The account of the widow and the unjust judge (Luke 18:1-8) shows the determination and tenacity of a woman to not quit until she received what was rightfully hers. The account of Susannah (Daniel 13) is about the vindication of a woman wrongly accused by powerful men in her community. This book is not included in the protestant canon of scripture and may be unfamiliar to some. It’s worth finding a bible with the Apocrypha to check it out.

What the Abrahamic traditions have in common is that the entire message (not just those plucked out verses) speak to the integrity of all people. Standing against social norms to witness to the value of all people is a powerful message of the First and Second Testament and the Koran.

In Luke 4:18-19 Jesus quotes Isaiah 61: “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to bring good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to let the oppressed go free, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Italics mine)

The account of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10 puts forth a message that it is our responsibility to stop and care for the victim.

Many Muslim scholars argue that the word translated “to hit” in the above verse is an error. Alkjateeb concludes:

“The wording of this verse emphasizes the woman’s obedience to Allah’s desires, and not to those of another human being, but those who misinterpret this verse would assign men the duty of being eternal surveillance police over their wives…. In short, this verse has been used as a tool of control and abuse completely opposed to the Islamic foundation of marriage and family.” (Journal of Religion and Abuse 1 (4):49-59)

For too long religion has been part of the problem and not part of the solution. As the war on women enters a new phase of escalation across the world, women and men of good faith and courage are needed to speak truth to power, to advocate for the powerless and to use the language of our faith to counteract poor translation, inaccurate interpretation and proof-texting.

Resources

The New York Times

The Journal of Religion and Abuse

National Electronic Network on Violence Against Women

Violence Against Women: A Christian Theological Sourcebook, Pamela Cooper-White, editor (1995)

Imagine that you are a recovering addict on a methadone maintenance program. Imagine too that you are in need of physical rehabilitation following serious orthopedic surgery.  What do you think are your options for care?

Since this is happening in my family right now, I can tell you that the answer to the question this: not many. The facility my family member ended up in is a hell hole. The food is barely fit for pigs. The physical therapy is non-existent; the care orders and prescriptions given at the time of discharge from the in-patient rehabilitation center are not followed. The facility is dingy, old and depressing. It is chronically understaffed. The ground she gained while at in-patient rehab is completely lost. This is what happens as a result of stigma and shame for people who struggle with addiction. No one wants addicts so they end up in the worst of the worst places.  

According to the Centers for Disease Prevention and Control, opioid-involved overdose deaths rose from 21,088 in 2010 to 47,600 in 2017 and remained steady in 2018 with 46,802 deaths. This was followed by a significant increase in 2019 with 49,860 overdose deaths.  

Since 1999 nearly 841,000 people have died from a drug overdose. This is the number of people in a medium size city. 

• Synthetic opioids (other than methadone) are currently the main driver of drug overdose deaths. Synthetic opioids account for 72.9% of deaths.
• Drug overdose deaths involving psychostimulants such as methamphetamine are increasing with and without synthetic opioid involvement.
• Opioid overdoses that do not lead to death are several times more common than fatal overdoses.

Opioid addiction is equal opportunity. It strikes women and men of all ages, socioeconomic status, education and income. In our rush to judgement we tend to think it happens “somewhere else” i.e. not in our community and not among people like us.   

As the pandemic dragged on fears were raised that already-rising drug overdose deaths could surge even further amid social isolation, economic stress and disrupted access to treatment facilities and providers. These fears were realized with a staggering 93,351 deaths in 2020.

Even though the numbers are rising, societal attitudes toward addiction and overdose have not changed for the most part. The judgement, stigma and shunning that happens to addicts and family members with addicts is stunning. The question people think but do not ask parents is ”what did you do wrong to make your kid an addict?” The question people think but do not ask addicts is “why can’t you get your s*** together and kick this thing?”

It would be wonderful to think that the church is a place where such judgement and lack of compassion doesn’t happen. Sadly, that is not the case. While there are some exemplary communities supporting people in recovery, the majority fail miserably.

Much of what we know or think we know is flat out wrong. It’s that simple. And to the extent that we are ignorant about the nature of addiction it is easy to sit on the sidelines and pronounce our seemingly morally high ground judgements.

Addiction is a complex disease that has many components. Life circumstance, genetic pre-disposition, emotion and physical pain are just a few of the things that impact substance abuse.  And who are we to pass judgement?

Judging others makes it impossible to love them. Above all, we are called to love one another.

It’s a good time to ask what Jesus would do. The gospels demonstrate that Jesus consistently reached out to the sick, disenfranchised and broken people of the world in which he lived. The gospels further demonstrate that Jesus was all about healing and restoring.  

That’s not to say that Jesus was all mushy and warm fuzzy. Jesus didn’t shy from the truth. Inasmuch as he spoke truth to power in his public ministry, he also spoke truth to those who were trapped in their own brokenness. The rich young ruler, Nicodemus and the woman at the well were people Jesus confronted with the truth.  It wasn’t a moralistic judgement passing, but rather a statement of truth and a call to wholeness.

During his earthly life Jesus also called people to community as a place to live out their growing wholeness. As Jesus’ people in the world this now falls to us. And the only way we can do this is by digging deep, routing out our prejudices and judgements and learning how to love as Jesus loved. It is something we never fully accomplish, but neither are we exempted from the command. It is the discipline of a lifetime.

As a parish pastor this phrase used to irk the hell out of me. I thought it was some sort of cop-out to not get up on Sunday morning. Or maybe they were disgruntled former church members who discovered the church was just as human as any other institution. Perhaps their family did not go to church when they were growing up, so there was no established habit or denominational preference. Perhaps they were so wounded by a church they couldn’t imagine ever returning. Perhaps they saw no reason to affiliate with an institution on the cutting edge of obsolescence. Or maybe they were just plain fed up with the church having little or nothing to do with Jesus. Whatever the reason I filtered it through the lens of trying to grow the church I was serving, and these spiritual but not religious types were not helpful. They did, however, come to the church when they wanted to get married, have a child baptized or have a funeral for a loved one. And of course the church opened its arms in welcome. Mostly we never saw them again.

More and more people describe themselves as spiritual but not religious. People probably have varying definitions of what this means; but what is consistent is that, for the most part, they feel no need to participate in institutionalized religion. I get it. There isn’t a church on the planet that isn’t screwed up in some way, some more than others. The church is a human institution and as such all the frailties and foibles of human beings play out in the life of the church. It can be crazy-making.

As someone who served the church all my life, I can also attest to the fact that churches can be the most loving, faithful, inspirational communities in the world. Churches are the institution God chose to be Holy hands, feet and hearts at work in the world.  When the church can get out of its own way and actually do real mission and ministry, it is an amazing thing. As Margaret Mead said, “Never doubt that a small committed group of people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” If more churches were actually living the gospel, the world would be a very different place.

Now that I am six years into retirement, life has changed dramatically. I am an unintentional recluse. I belong to the church of my childhood, about 90 miles from where I live. I didn’t get custody of my local church in the divorce. My attendance at church is spotty at best. I do miss the communal singing, gathering at the communion table and fellowship with people I have known all my life. I believe there is a part of the Christian faith that can only be lived in community.

I never thought I would say it, but truth be told I am becoming spiritual but not religious. Not being able to attend church means I have to find other ways to nurture my spiritual life and ground myself in my faith. It has broadened my sense of worship and deepened my understanding that everything is holy.

It is a holy thing to watch vegetable blossoms turn into tomatoes, squash, beans and cucumbers. Watching the birds that find our backyard a haven of safety is an act of worship. I am struck silent in awe by the beauty of a summer day or the ferocity of a storm. I am inspired by the words of others who make me think differently about what it means to be a person of faith. I keep a journal and have quiet time every day. I listen to music that feeds my soul. I have a deeper appreciation for my tribe, that small group of people who show up no matter what, on whose fellowship I depend and through whose love I continue to grow. Many of them are also spiritual but not religious, but they embody the Christian faith in beautiful ways.

My heart is broken daily by the suffering, pain and hatred in the world. Watching the news is almost unbearable. Like many others I feel helpless to do anything to alleviate their suffering. All I can do is pray they will have some sense of the presence of the Holy to sustain them. I don’t pray for God to fix it. We don’t give God to-do lists. We humans messed it up; we are going to have to fix it. If I were younger and healthier I would be on a plane to work in the refugee camps, but alas that is not an option. What I can do is work to make my little part of the world a better place and live the love of Jesus as best I can. As the old saying goes, “If everyone swept in front of their own house the world would be a lot cleaner.”

Turns out, for the most part I am doing okay without the church. Whodathunkit? Surely I never did. My idea of what it means to be spiritual but not religious may be unique, or maybe not. It works for me and no one is more surprised than I.

It is widely believed that Jesus said it is more blessed to give than to receive. In truth there is no evidence of that in any of the gospels. Still it is an expression we have taken to heart. Whoever said it (widely believed to be Paul in Acts 20) neglected to mention that it is also a lot easier. Giving makes us feel good. Making meals for a sick friend or working for a charity gives a sense of satisfaction.

Giving also feeds our sense of independence. It demonstrates our ability to manage our own affairs and help others with our resources. Having our own house in order feeds the “rugged individualism” introduced by Herbert Hoover in the late 1920’s and early thirties. It is now woven into the warp and woof of our culture. There is no question it is easier to give than to receive regardless of whatever blessing may come our way as a result.

This perspective also means it is pretty hard to ask for help, or to need help. It can be seen as a sign of weakness, some indication we can’t manage our own affairs. For the most part we hate to be needy. Some say that being needy when accustomed to being totally independent is humbling. I’m not sure that is the right word. Merriam Webster Dictionary defines humbling as, “to lower someone’s dignity or importance.” While it may be a feeling we have when we are needy, in truth this definition is not helpful.

Asking for help or needing help in no way lowers one’s importance or dignity. It simply means life circumstances have changed. These changes may be temporary or permanent. Either way it has nothing to do with dignity or importance.

What lowers one’s dignity or importance is being made to feel shame for being needy, being “less than” or being marginalized. What erodes dignity is not having access to what one needs. In our culture access and importance are assigned by social status, economic resources, education, productivity and a host of other false categories.

Our importance is defined by being human and being made in the image of the Divine. It has nothing to do with what we do, what we have or what we need. It is all about who we are. A better definition of being humbled comes from my favorite apologist Frederick Buechner, “True humility doesn’t consist of thinking ill of yourself, but of not thinking of yourself much differently from the way you’d be apt to think of anybody else.”

Humility has nothing to do with neediness, ours or anyone else’s. Another way of thinking about neediness is as an expression of interdependence. Interdependence creates a framework for shared humanity. Interdependence assumes we will all take our turn at being needy. It also suggests we have some responsibility to others when they are needy.

Most of us have some remedial work to do when it comes to asking for help. Looking at our assumptions and values around neediness is a good place to start. We all stand on equal ground in the heart of the holy. It’s a good place to start.

Perfection: “noun, the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.” (Oxford Languages)

Perfectionism: noun, refusal to accept any standard short of perfection; “the need to be or appear to be perfect, or even to believe that it is possible to achieve perfection.…Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfection is not about healthy achievement and growth.” (GoodTherapy.org)

Perfection and perfectionism are two difficult words in the English language. The notion that we are able to be free from flaw or defect sets many people on a path of self-destruction in search of an unattainable goal. This is slipping over the line to perfectionism. After all, we are only mortal. This is the first bit of good news.

There is something to be said for striving to be our best, but that’s not the framework here. Surely every great stride in science, medicine, writing and all the arts have grown from the desire to be and do better. Watching the Olympics is a study in athletic excellence that pushes the human body to be its very best. Still, it is different from the pull of perfection that plagues and paralyzes so many.

There is a big hunk of religious baggage that attaches itself to the words perfect and perfectionism. In Matthew 5:48, these words are attributed to Jesus: “Be perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect.” As a kid I figured I was pretty much screwed as I had no chance of touching those words with a ten foot pole.

It wasn’t until I was in seminary that I learned that the translation of the Greek word to be “perfect” was complete garbage. I heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe I did have a better chance than a snowball in August. The jury was still out.

The verse should read, “Be complete, even as your Father in heaven is complete.” The verse is an invitation to wholeness.  Being complete begins with the assertion that we are made in the image of God and that we are most complete when we live in a defining relationship with God. It means a relationship that supersedes all other relationships. Gratefully this is not a task to be accomplished in a proscribed time frame, say a week from next Tuesday, but rather a life-long journey that centers and grounds the rest of life.

To say it is unfortunate that the translating fathers (and yes they were men) messed up this verse is an understatement. It contributes to so many followers seeing themselves as total failures who have no chance of being anything else. Being perfect may not  be one of the Big Ten, but being attributed to Jesus gives it a bit more clout than the average Joe muttering it under his breath on the way to his lunch break.

We tend to give the “words of Jesus” a whole lot of power, so it really sucks when people get them wrong. Jesus invites his followers to be complete, to be whole. It is nothing short of a wholesale transformation of our way of being in the world. And luckily we have the rest of our lives to live into the journey, knowing we will never fully attain it. This is one of those times when the goal is secondary to the journey. This is the next bit of good news.

We are invited into an eternal waltz with the Holy One where life is changed and reshaped as a result of the dance. It teaches us to love creation and treat it with reverence and respect. No more throwing trash out the window. Doing a better job caring for the few square feet of land entrusted to us for the time being. It means remembering that, as the old kids’ song goes, “All God’s Critters Got a Place in the Choir.” It means paying attention to Climate Change and so many other things. This dance means we see all of life and all of creation as holy and if that doesn’t change us, I don’t know what will.

The dance of relationship also changes how we look at one another. It means we have to dig deep down and rout out all the places where fear and prejudice and bias cause us to see others as “less than.” All the “isms” that separate us, all the judgements we pass on one another, all the socially constructed definitions of what is acceptable and what is not, need to go. All we need to know is that all people are created in the image of the divine. It is only through relationship that we look beyond what is presented to see the face of the holy within another.

God’s eternal love affair with humanity is nothing more and nothing less than an invitation to completeness. The dance doesn’t change God, it changes us–little by little, day by day from today until the day we draw our last breath. It is the most glorious and humbling dance we can do. And the best news of all is that it has nothing to do with being perfect. Put on your dancing shoes, the Divine awaits your entering the music that grounds the essence of life.