The Irreverent Reverend

Only in America can people gather on Thanksgiving Day around a table laden with food and give thanks for their blessings. The next day they trample people on their way to buy more stuff for people who already have too much.

Black Friday madness officially welcomes the beginning of unbridled consumerism. The National Retailers Association estimates that Americans will spend 942.6 billion dollars on holiday gifts, decorations and food. This shatters last year’s record of 889.3 billion. Despite inflation and concerns about the economy, people are planning to spend and spend big.

As a result, fifty percent of shoppers say they will take on short term debt, including predatory lending such as pay day loans. According to a Nerd Wallet survey, 31% of people have not paid off their holiday spending from last year. The average American household will spend $1455 dollars this season. So important is this brief burst of frenzied shopping that it is used as an economic indicator for the coming year. Supposedly, holiday shopping measures consumer confidence in the economy.  

There is a cost to all this holiday hoo-ha that goes far beyond the credit card bills that roll in during the month of January. For those who tend toward anxiety and depression, seven percent have considered suicide. Constant worry is a problem for fifty-three percent. Another thirty-one percent have difficulty sleeping. Significant percentages of people also stress-buy items they cannot afford, increase their alcohol consumption or experience mood swings. Even for those who do not tend toward anxiety and depression, holiday stress barges in the front door with pressure to buy and bake, entertain and indulge.

The ultimate irony of all this madness is that it is grounded in a tradition surrounding the birth of Jesus. He was a poor Middle Eastern Jew who was homeless and hated for his teachings about the proper use of riches and the need to care for the poor.

It is not known when Jesus was actually born and most of the stories around his birth are myths. That is not to denigrate the stories in any way, but there’s a good chance the stories aren’t factual, but they’re true.  The question to ask about these stories is not, “did it happen exactly this way?” Rather the question is, “what do these stories mean for us today?” What can we learn from being a follower of Jesus rather than one who simply worships the baby during the Christmas season?

Instead of a season of unbridled consumerism, here are some suggestions for alternative celebrations that cut down on the madness, the debt and the hoo-ha.

• Have every family member choose one name. Buy gifts for that person that do not exceed a pre-determined amount of money.
• Teach children that Christmas is not a time to get everything they want, but a time to be concerned about others.
• Use some of the money you save not buying gifts for everyone and give it to a local charity like the food pantry or fuel bank.
• Make a list of all the people for whom you normally buy gifts. Instead of buying them gifts, write a letter to each one telling them what a gift they are in your life.
• Celebrate the season of Advent with an Advent wreath. Making a wreath is part of the fun and you can use whatever materials you like. The traditional wreath is made with greens. I make our wreath with sand and shells in a nod toward our love for the water.
• Mark each week in Advent with the meaning of the candle you light: hope, peace, love and joy. Consider how these qualities manifest in your life.
• Honor National Buy Nothing Day. Instead of joining the madness of Black Friday, stay home and buy nothing. Do a small counter-cultural thing that is closer to the spirit of the season. While you are not shopping, consider what charity or charities you want to support this season.

If you are one that laments that there is no Christ in Christmas, then engage in the activities that make Christ manifest in the world.

Yesterday the population of our planet reached eight billion people. A new report by the United Nations indicated there are a number of population trends to which we should be paying attention. The report states, “This is an occasion to celebrate our diversity, recognize our common humanity, and marvel at advancements in health that have extended lifespans and dramatically reduced maternal and child mortality rates. At the same time, it is a reminder of our shared responsibility to care for our planet and a moment to reflect on where we still fall short of our commitments to one another.”

One area where we fall desperately short of our commitments to one another is in care for refugees. It is estimated that at the end of 2021 there were 89.3 million forcibly displaced persons as a result of persecution, conflict, violence or human rights violations. This includes 27.1 million refugees and 53.2 million internally displaced people (The United Nations Refugee Agency).

No one can forget (hopefully) the number of Central and South American people trapped in inhuman situations at the US and Mexican borders. Children in cages, people outside in scorching heat, and unaccompanied minors being deported alone to Mexican border towns. Under the reign of error from #45, immigration policies were set back decades. His administration fueled an anti-immigrant sentiment that continues. The current administration has tried to undo some of the policies, but has been blocked at every turn.  

In other areas of the world, Poland especially, but also other European Union (EU) countries have welcomed millions of asylum seekers and refugees. According to the European Commission in 2021, 23.7 million people in the EU were non-EU citizens (5.3% of the total population) and 37.5 million people were born outside of the EU (8.4% of all EU inhabitants).

The global refugee crisis is far from static. According to www.concernusa.org there are at least ten refugee crises on the horizon, including the Central African Republic, Somalia, Sudan and South Sudan, Myanmar, Ukraine and Syria.

As long as there is political, economic and sectarian violence there will be refugees. It raises questions about where they will go, how they will be cared for and how countries can absorb such large numbers of individuals when they struggle internally with their own economies. Some countries are starting to remove the welcome mat. According to the New York Times, a small vocal group of Poles is ramping up resistance to taking more Ukrainian refugees. The United States has less than a stellar track record of welcoming refugees. Other countries are finding their resources stretched to the limit.

It’s time we look at planet earth as a global community. The artificial lines we draw around countries are the result of war, violence and power moves. If we erase the lines (an unlikely outcome), then we see our responsibilities to one another in a different way. It’s time for foreign aid to stop having quid pro quo undertones. It’s time for our strategic concerns to take a back seat to human need. Yes, we are dealing with world bullies like Russia and the threats are real. It’s a complicated problem to be sure, but we cannot absolve ourselves of responsibility for the millions of people who suffer through no fault of their own.

The truth of the matter is that there is enough for everyone’s need, but not everyone’s greed. Much of the anti-immigrant sentiments around the world have to do with not wanting to give up a certain lifestyle, not wanting to lose what is “ours” and being unwilling to share. Our prejudices and biases against “foreigners” have a long and unattractive history in the United States. The current incarnation against Central and South American immigrants should come as no surprise.

So maybe the place to start is with those prejudices and biases. Maybe we begin by opening our hearts to those who are displaced by famine, war and violence and trust that if we open our hearts the actions will follow. Maybe it’s time to support refugee agencies as part of our charitable giving. Those of us who claim the name of Christian cannot deny that Jesus was ultimately concerned about the poor, the outcast and the downtrodden. As long as power is related to privilege and skin color determines social standing and the “right” religion defines our response, the refugees of the world will continue to struggle against the cold heartedness of the rest of the world.

Please say you voted. If you didn’t vote, you don’t get to bitch about the outcome. Simple as that. If you did vote, thank you. Democracy only works when it is participatory.

It is likely the election results will not be known for some time. We can expect outcomes in close races to be challenged. Voting disinformation will abound. Efforts to undercut the integrity of the election process will challenge legitimate outcomes. It is far from over.

Now is not the time to think that you did your part because you voted. Now is not the time to throw up your hands in despair and check out. Now is not the time to listen to whatever comes over the airwaves as fact. Now is not the time to be a bench sitter. Be big, be bold, be loud. Be faithful. Being involved in the public sphere is an act of faith. It is the belief that our country can change when we vote our conscience and vote for the good of all people.

Free and fair elections depend on people who work the polls, count the ballots and register the outcome. Write to your Secretary of State and say thank you for doing their job with integrity. If there is a kerfuffle about counting all the votes in your state, be outraged and write to your Secretary of State about that.

Actively work to put disinformation to rest. This means you must be an informed citizen (something we should be all the time). Depend on reliable news sources for your information. Encourage family and friends to not succumb to the craziness that is out there.

Christian nationalism is a real and present danger to our democracy. People of faith (all faiths), and people of no faith who have a conscience have a duty to speak their truth. Remember, the religious right is not a majority; they just have the biggest mouths and a lot of money. They form power blocks and ingratiate themselves to politicians in a constant quid pro quo. If you have been silent, now is the time to speak up.   

Write to your local and state legislators, even if the outcome of their election is uncertain. Say what your expectations are on crucial issues. Remind them they are servants of the people.

A senator once told me that he hears from less than fifty people on any given issue. A few phone calls, a few letters, a few e-mails and THAT IS IT! Our legislators cannot represent us if we don’t tell them where we are at. They will be guided by their own beliefs and their inner moral compass. This is not, as we have seen, always a good thing.

Thanksgiving and Christmas may be interesting this year. If we remain silent, falsehoods and misinformation will go unchallenged. It is important to remember that disagreeing does not have to be a knock-down, drag-out screaming match. Disagreement can happen politely and respectfully. It’s time to stop being afraid. It’s time to stop being apathetic.  Our disagreement may not change another’s mind, but we can never underestimate the power of planting a seed.

It’s time to pray, protest and participate.

Check out the new book recommendation, How to Heal Our Divides

You weren’t permitted to visit in the hospital. You couldn’t hold your loved one’s hand in their final hours. You said good-bye to your partner, parent, sibling, child or friend via iPad. When their suffering was over, their body was placed in a refrigerated trailer behind the hospital. There was no funeral or memorial because no public gatherings were allowed.

This is the age of Covid 19. If this is your reality you share it with the families of 1.07 million people who have died since the beginning of the pandemic. You are not alone, but you may feel more alone than you ever have in your life.

If there is any good news in this scenario it’s this: It’s never too late to say a proper goodbye. Grief is a communal emotion. It is meant to be shared. We were never intended to grieve in solitude. We are creatures of community. Significant life events, both happy and sad, are things we want and need to share. We are also people of ritual. We need to mark and celebrate the big events of life and death.

If you were deprived of an opportunity to say a proper goodbye to your loved one, think about doing it now. Unresolved and unexpressed grief doesn’t go away. Time does not heal the wounds, it may blunt some of the pain but that’s all. In many ways grief is the companion of a lifetime when someone we love dies. That grief, however, is lessened when we have the opportunity to share it through a public gathering or ritual.

The cremation and burial may be long over, but that doesn’t negate the need for a gathering to honor your loved one and share your grief. There is no right way or wrong way to plan a memorial. There is your way, and that’s all that matters.

Invite a bunch of people, invite a few people or invite just the family. You choose who needs to be there for you.  Read some poetry, play some of your loved one’s favorite music. Eat their favorite food. You may or may not desire to have a clergy person present. Figure out how you want it led and who you want to do it. Remember, you are doing this for you and for your loved one, and maybe for others who are in need of an opportunity to say a proper goodbye. Have it at your house, a restaurant, their favorite club or gathering space. Plan an outing to the zoo, go to the beach. The options are endless. What matters is that it is right for you and for the people who will share the event with you.

Grief that remains unexpressed can cause depression and anxiety. It can manifest in stress- related health problems like hypertension and digestive issues. Unexpressed and unvalidated grief can impact sleep patterns and cause chronic exhaustion. Weight gain/loss and self- medicating with alcohol or drugs are often part of unresolved grief. Emotional and spiritual health are impacted when grieving is done alone. Grief can become complicated mourning when it remains unexpressed.

Complicated mourning is a term coined by bereavement therapist Therese Rando. In her book of the same title she writes at length about the causes and impact of complicated mourning. It can happen when death comes unexpectedly, tragically or traumatically, or when grief remains invisible. All of the usual sadness and emotion are present, but they are not blunted by time. There is a sense of being unmoored from all that is familiar. It is difficult to find any source of happiness or joy. The usual rituals and celebrations do not happen for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, even when a “traditional” service is celebrated there is a need for additional social and communal affirmation of loss.

The National Institute of Health states, “Complicated grief is a chronic impairing form of grief brought about by interference with the healing process. We use the term ‘complicated’ in the medical sense to refer to a superimposed process that alters grief and modifies its course for the worse. Think about a physical wound that produces an inflammatory response as part of the healing process. A wound complication, for example an infection, increases the inflammation and delays healing. You can think of bereavement as analogous to an injury and grief as analogous to the painful inflammatory response and complicated grief as analogous to a superimposed infection.”

Complicated grief and mourning often need psychotherapeutic intervention. It’s important to know when you need help. A small piece of mourning can be lessened, however, by having a public ritual that acknowledges your loss and celebrates the life of your loved one. It is not a replacement for professional help, but it can be one small piece of validating loss and grief.

If you are one of the millions of people who are wandering alone in the wilderness of grief, you can help yourself by knowing that it is never too late and you are not alone. Let the celebration of your loved one’s life be a way point in your healing process.

(If you know someone suffering from unvalidated grief, please share this blog as a way of encouraging their healing.)

It is no secret that churches are facing declining membership. It is a cause of much handwringing and angst among church members and leaders alike. According to the Religious News Service the most recent survey of faith communities revealed a median decline in church membership of seven percent between 2015 and 2020. Half of the country’s 350,000 congregations have less than 65 people in the pew on any given Sunday morning. The exodus of members due to death and attrition is not balanced by the influx of new members. Average new member retention rates are less than fifty percent over five years. Taken together, it is not long before the projection of church longevity is in the single digits.  In 2019 over 4,500 hundred Protestant churches closed according to estimates from the Nashville-based Lifeway Research.

The truth is, there are good reasons for declining membership and none of them have to do with cultural influences. In the interest of putting forth the biblical argument that we all tend to look at the speck in another’s eye while ignoring the tree growing out of our own face, here are a few thoughts about why the church is struggling:

• The church is on the cutting edge of obsolescence. People make time for the things that are important. The late Phyllis Tickle said that once every two hundred years the church has a huge yard sale and ditches the practices that are no longer furthering the work of the church. We are about a hundred years overdue for the yard sale.
• Religious language has little or no meaning to many people.
• Beyond the biggies like the Ten Commandments, Moses in the bulrushes, the virgin birth and the resurrection, most people have no clue about the bible. And many people are loath to admit they don’t believe in the virgin birth or the resurrection.
• Safe places for people to struggle with honest faith questions and real life struggles are hard to find.
• Churches are not the most welcoming places on the planet. I think walking through the doors of a church for the first time is a very courageous thing. It is made worse if some clod says, “You are sitting in my seat.”
• Churches don’t make worship easy to follow. Fumbling through an unfamiliar hymnbook to find a responsive reading, creedal statement or hymn doesn’t send the “we’re glad you’re here message.”
• Churches are often more concerned about institutional survival than about the mission to which they are called. Potential new members are pounced on to serve on committees and boards when they have scarcely walked in the door.
• Headlines about sex scandals and financial impropriety continue to crop up with alarming regularity. It makes it difficult to take the church seriously when the primary goal of the church is not getting its butt sued off.
• Unstated dress codes and behavioral expectations like when to sit and when to stand can make visitors feel extremely uncomfortable.
• The message of Jesus has been traded in for worshipping Jesus. Following Jesus has been seconded to claiming Jesus as Lord and Savior. Caring for the poor, seeking justice for the oppressed and creating a society where all are cared for equally is subverted for the ease of going with the flow in terms of societal norms and values.
• Spiritual formation and growing mature people of faith is secondary to becoming members of the organization and participating in the organizational structure.
• It’s not that churches aren’t trying, they are. But many are trying to get new members rather than raise faithful disciples of Jesus Christ.
• Churches are often more concerned about their buildings than they are about their ministries. The church does not have a ministry, it IS a ministry.
• Few people walk in the door of a church for the first time because life is going along swimmingly. They come because they are struggling, they have questions, their lives are falling apart, their kids are on drugs, their spouses have ambled out the door for greener pastures or they are worried about how to put food on the table. There are a zillion other reasons that draw people to the church. They often discover that church is all about putting your best foot forward, smiling and making nice. Leading with brokenness is not the ethos of the church.
• People often walk out the door of the church for the same reasons; it doesn’t feel safe to share their brokenness.
• There is an over focus on right belief, right action, right doctrine and right creed.  

It may be that 4,500 churches closing is a good thing. It may make room for a resurrection of what the church is called to be.  

The landscape is littered with political signs. Every other ad on television is for a candidate promising to save the world. Thinly veiled mudslinging between candidates passes for debates. Hold on, it will all be over soon. Stay the course.

It’s a boating term; stay the course. It is a directive to the helmsman (the driver) to keep the boat on the same compass coordinates and thereby stay on the same trajectory for as many nautical miles as needed. There are no road signs in the ocean announcing “Martha’s Vineyard 16 miles, New Bedford go left in 8.6 miles” It all looks the same–lots and lots of water. A compass and a directive to stay the course is the difference between getting where you are going and ending up in the United Kingdom.

It’s like this during election season. All the stuff looks the same and most of it is BS. Sorting through it and figuring out what the real issues are and the candidates who are going to address them is like bobbing around in the ocean without a compass.

But, it is time to gather up your fatigue, stow your cynicism, dust off your bullshit-o-meter, and make a commitment to being an informed voter and exercising one of the most fundamental rights of being an American citizen, voting. It’s easy to think that our one little vote doesn’t matter. Nothing could be further from the truth. Mid-term elections are becoming very important. They act as a stage for positioning the presidential election that comes up in another two years. If the Republicans gain control of the senate, President Biden’s agenda for ongoing economic recovery, job creation and easing financial burdens on middle class families will be stonewalled.

Being an informed voter is of critical importance. The question is, informed by what? Surely we vote in our own self-interest. We are, however, called as people of faith to vote in the interests of the poor, the marginalized and the disenfranchised. Knowing the issues that impact your state as well as the national landscape is important.

Here are some points for reflection that bear repeating from a blog several years ago:

• “The arc of the universe bends toward justice.” (William Sloane Coffin)
• Love is the essence of every major religious tradition in the world.
• Spirit is the holy in all of us and in creation.
• Creation reveals God.
• We are God’s agents of love, peace and justice in the world.
• The teachings of Jesus are our guide and guard.
• Jesus was a Middle Eastern Jew.  There is no room for anti-Semitism in the Christian faith.
• Jesus was a person of color.  There is no room for racism in the Christian faith.
• Mere tolerance is a low bar for people of faith.
• The first and second testaments stand on equal ground.
• The Bible inherently favors the poor and disadvantaged.
• Jesus’ harshest judgements were focused on the wealthy and the religious leaders who colluded with them.
• The Christian life is a life of dissent against the injustice of the world.
• All paths to God are equally valid; those who claim the name of Christian choose one path among many.
• We are called to preach the gospel at all times and, if necessary, to use words. (Francis of Assisi)
• Healthcare is a right not a privilege.
• Those working full time should earn enough to support their family.
• There is enough for everyone’s need, not everyone’s greed.
• The world would be a better place if humans practiced what they preach when they claim the name of Christian.
• The gospel agenda is non-partisan.
• We cannot give into the politics of despair, fear and powerlessness. 

Another way to put it; vote as if:

• Your skin is not white.
• Your parents need medical care.
• Your friend is a missing indigenous woman.
• Your spouse is an immigrant.
• Your land is on fire.
• Your son is transgender.
• You home is flooded.
• Your sister is a victim of gun violence.
• Your brother is gay.
• Your water is unsafe.
• Your daughter is survivor of sexual assault.

The truth is that most all of these things can happen to any one of us. They have happened to far too many Americans who have not been treated with justice and equity. Vote in their interest too.

In an official act, the President of the United States issued the following:

“NOW, THEREFORE, I, JOSEPH R. BIDEN JR., President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim October 11, 2021, as Indigenous Peoples’ Day.  I call upon the people of the United States to observe this day with appropriate ceremonies and activities.  I also direct that the flag of the United States be displayed on all public buildings on the appointed day in honor of our diverse history and the Indigenous peoples who contribute to shaping this Nation.”

It’s official. So, if you are one of those people who roll your eyes when you hear “Indigenous People’s Day,” I have three words for you.

Get over it.

If you are one of the people who proudly proclaim being “politically incorrect” by saying Happy Columbus Day, I have three words for you.

Knock it off.

This is not some politically correct trope. This is an honest effort to correct the revisionist history that has allowed us to celebrate Columbus as “discovering America.”  In truth, Columbus discovered nothing. Newsflash: there were already people here. What Columbus did was begin a period of colonization that systematically exterminated hundreds of Native Nations and millions of Native Peoples. 

A conservative estimate is that ten million Native Peoples were killed by disease, malnutrition and assaults on local villages.  Make no mistake; disease is a tool of genocide.  When smallpox was running rampant in colonial villages, blankets that belonged to deceased patients were given to Natives to infect them. The remaining villagers were slaughtered in ambushes. For a period of time there was a bounty on the scalps of the Penobscot Nation–30 Pounds for males and 25 for females.

The Indian Removal Act of 1830 expelled five Nations–Cherokee, Chicksaw, Choctaw Creek and Seminole–from their land (where colonists wanted to grow cotton) to what is now Oklahoma.  This came to be known as the Trail of Tears.  Over 4,000 people died of cold, hunger and disease.

During the gold rush of 1848, thousands of Native Americans were displaced or died of starvation or disease due to the contamination of their land and water from mining by-products.

After the end of the American Indian wars in the late 1800’s, it is estimated that less than 238,000 Native Americans remained.

The wholesale death of ten million Native Americans is extreme in comparison to recent genocides: 6 million Jews and 800,000 Rwandans. There seems to be no end to the violence human beings do to each other, for no other reason than being different.

Much of the following history has its root in the doctrine of discovery, a concept of public international law expounded by the United States in a series of decisions of the Supreme Court. It is based on various church documents in Christian Europe in the mid 1400’s to justify the pattern of domination and oppression by European colonists.  It theologically asserted the right to claim the indigenous lands, territories and resources on behalf of Christendom. Further, it legalized the subjugation of native peoples. To this day the US courts still claim this precedent to decide property rights cases brought by Native Americans.

In 1900, the Supreme Court voted that the US government had the right to overturn all Cherokee Law.  It is one in a long line of Federal laws and local ordinances that diminished Native Peoples around the country. In 1924 dual citizenship was granted to Native Americans; they were allowed to maintain citizenship in their Native Nation and were declared US citizens. Columbus Day became a Federal Holiday in 1937.  In 1940 the Hoover Commission urged assimilation which further eroded the identity of Native Peoples.  It was not until 1965 that Native Americans gained uniform voting rights. It was not until 1968 that Native Americans were granted free speech, the right to jury and protection from unreasonable search and seizure. It was not until 1978 that the Child Welfare Act was passed. It protected Native parents’ custody of their children.  Despite this law, there is ample evidence that Native Children are still removed from their parents at a higher rate than other children, especially in South Dakota.

Given this horrific history, there is ample reason to stop celebrating the chain of events begun by Columbus and to now lift up the Native Peoples of our nation. The first Indigenous Peoples Day was officially recognized in South Dakota in 1989.  Since then Alaska, Maine, Minnesota, New Mexico, North Carolina and Vermont have officially recognized Indigenous People’s Day. One hundred and thirty cities around the country have also changed their celebrations to Indigenous People’s day.

The protestant church is actually leading the way in this developing trend.  The United Church of Christ officially changed its designation of the holiday after their General Synod 29 and has continued to advocate for repudiation of all legislation related to the doctrine of discovery. Other Protestant denominations have, in various ways, followed suit.

A designation of Indigenous People’s Day is to balance the colonizing history represented by Columbus.  It affirms the rights and essential human integrity of Native Peoples and their right to live in peace and maintain their tribal identity.  It is one small symbol in a long history of betrayal, broken promises and horrific treatment that may gradually shift the focus from a genocidal, racist, pro-slavery colonizer to a more honest focus on those who have been and continue to be marginalized.

If you roll your eyes when you hear Indigenous People’s Day, get over it.

It’s not every day you get an e-mail from a family member saying, “In three days I will be dead.” My spouse’s cousin was writing to the family to say goodbye. He was following through on a long talked about, debated and wept over decision to end his life on his terms. He had a chronic disease that was entering its terminal phase. He had said for years when it got to that time, he would choose to end his life. He was sending final correspondence to his family via email.

Most of us have no idea when we will have the last conversation with a loved one. Too often it is at the death bed through tears and the realization there is not enough time to say everything that needs to be said. At some level it is a rare gift to know, and not miss the opportunity to say everything on one’s heart and in one’s mind. If there is one lesson to be learned it is–don’t wait to tell your loved ones what you want them to know. Chances are good you will not know when the last conversation is. There is tremendous power in saying the words, “I love you” aloud. There is tremendous healing in articulating to someone what they mean in your life and how your life is better because of them.

Everyone has a different experience of suffering. The loss of independence, sense of self and the fear of being a burden to family members are just a few components of suffering for some patients. I would venture a guess there are as many types of suffering as there are people who are dying. While there is always a way to manage pain and other sources of suffering, people do on occasion “seek the assistance of a physician to end their life.” (American Academy of Hospice and Palliative Medicine or AAHPM). 

In the area where my spouse’s cousin lived, physician assisted dying is legal. In the United States physician assisted dying is legal in ten states and the District of Columbia. It is hotly debated in other states from time to time.

The AAHPM released a statement in 2016, “Physician Assisted Dying (PAD) is defined as a physician providing at the patient’s request, a prescription for a lethal dose of medication that the patient can self-administer by ingestion, with the explicit intention of ending life. Although PAD has historically not been within the domain of standard medical practice, in recent years it has emerged as both an explicit and covert practice across various legal jurisdictions in the United States. PAD has become a legally sanctioned activity, subject to safeguards.”

According to www.compassionatechoices.org, “Medical aid in dying is not assisted suicide, suicide or euthanasia. Medical aid in dying is a safe and trusted medical practice in which a terminally ill, mentally capable adult with a prognosis of six months or less to live may request from his or her doctor a prescription of medication which they can choose to self-ingest to bring about a peaceful death.”

Language is important. “Leading medical organizations such as AAHPM and the American Public Health association have all adopted policies rejecting the term “physician assisted suicide.” The American Association of Suicidology, a nationally recognized organization that promotes prevention of suicide through research, public awareness, programs, education and training comprised of respected researchers and mental health professionals, asserts medical aid in dying is fundamentally distinct from suicide.” (Compassionate Care)

The alleviation of human suffering and pain should be at the forefront of any discussion on the subject of medical aid in dying. How the patient experiences suffering is the conversation that matters. The moralizing that happens when (perhaps) well intentioned religious and ethical wannabes judge another’s life is itself a source of suffering. 

Three principles can guide our thinking and conversations about end of life, whether physician assisted dying is under consideration or not:

• Listen. Every patient has a unique experience of their own impending death. Alleviating their suffering is the most important task.

• Respect. When we put the needs of the patient first, the goals of treatment and the means of treatment are fundamentally shifted. When comfort is the standard against which all interventions are measured, there is a wide range of options, including physician assisted dying.

• Keep your judgements to yourself. You may or may not agree philosophically, theologically or socially with the concept of physician assisted dying. Luckily for the patient, it’s not about you and what you think. When listening and respect are employed in full measure, with an open heart and open mind, it is much easier to keep our judgements to ourselves, which is exactly where they should be. The conversations about physician assisted dying are not hashed out in the ethereal realms of philosophy, theology or social ethics. They are decided one patient at a time in the reality of their own life.

“Seventy percent of Americans agreed the U.S. Constitution would not allow ‘the U.S. government to declare the United States a Christian nation….’” There is some encouragement in this, but it doesn’t change the fact that sixty-one percent of Republicans said they favor “the United States officially declaring the United States to be a Christian nation” (The Religious News Service and a University of Maryland poll). The rise of christian nationalism (I can’t bear to capitalize either word), is the blending of a particular and peculiar religious fervor with a political agenda. It is reaching a frightening level in our country. According to Amanda Tyler of the Baptist Joint Committee for Religious Liberty, “christian nationalism is the single biggest threat to America’s religious freedom.”

The most famous period in history when Christianity was declared a state religion resulted in the Crusades. Over a period of two hundred years in the high middle ages, millions of people were murdered for refusing to convert to Christianity.  The utter disconnect of this never ceases to blow my mind. Granted there were many other factors that contributed to the Crusades, but most of the time they were wrapped up in a “christian” box and tied with a very bloody bow.

Back to the present moment and the rise of christian nationalism. According to Tyler, “christian nationalism, (is) the anti-democratic notion that America is a nation by and for Christians alone. At its core, this idea threatens the principle of the separation of church and state and undermines the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment. It also leads to discrimination and, and at times violence, against religious minorities and the nonreligious.”

Enter the Supreme Court. Most of the Justices appear to be losing their collective mind. Gratefully there are still a few notable exceptions. The issue begins in the state court of New York, where under state law “private schools are responsible for providing students with an education that is substantially equivalent to what public schools are expected to provide.” The schools on the front line of the impending fight are yeshivas, conservative Jewish schools run by Hasidic communities (the most conservative Jews). The schools argue an exemption from the secular subjects of education because they are religious schools. The Supreme Court is likely to agree with them given some of their recent rulings on religious schools.

This puts the christian nationalist agenda and the potential for a High Court ruling on a collision course. We cannot claim the United States to be a Christian nation while giving special dispensations to religious schools from other traditions. I doubt an Islamic school would receive the same dispensation, but that is another blog for another day.

The point here is that while evangelical “christians” are pushing a christian nationalist agenda, another branch of government seems to be moving in the opposite direction. According to our political structure, the Supreme Court is the keeper of the Constitution. The establishment clause of the first amendment clearly states that the government cannot establish a state sanctioned religion. Neither can the state prevent the free exercise of religion.

A legal precedent set in 1971, Lemon v. Kturzman, states that the “…government can assist religion only if (1) the primary purpose of assistance is secular, (2) the assistance must neither promote nor inhibit religion, and (3) there is no excessive entanglement between church and state.”(United States Courts).  

It can be argued that by ruling in favor of the yeshivas, that the primary purpose of the ruling is not secular, but religious. It can be further argued that the assistance promotes religion and that there is excessive entanglement between church and state.

Regardless of whether one agrees or disagrees with the likely ruling of the Supreme Court on this matter, there is a likelihood of conflict between the christian nationalists and the High Court. It further muddies the waters on the complex issue of the separation of church and state (which seems to be a rapidly eroding reality), increases the potential for violence among varying religious traditions and makes the rollback of civil rights for LGBTQI likely.

It’s easy to think that a bunch of obscure little schools in New York not wanting to teach reading, writing and ‘rithmitic has nothing to do with us, but nothing could be further from the truth. The lineup of smaller cases set precedents for larger cases. Larger cases are bound to collide with divergent political agendas in the realm of religious practice. What gets caught in the mix is the very essence of our Democracy. As the old saying goes, “if you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention.”

If there’s one thing we can say for the British, they surely know how to do ritual. The exact choreography of the Queen’s funeral was a sight to behold. The attention to detail was astounding, right down to her beloved Corgis waiting for her at Windsor Castle.

 The route of the funeral cortege was lined with thousands of people, some of whom had waited as long as twenty-four hours. Millions of people around the world rose early in the morning to see what was reported to be the most watched event in television history.

In addition to showing the world’s eternal interest in all things royalty, it hints at the meaning and power that attend life cycle rituals. A funeral brings people together for a common expression of shared mourning. It creates a socially sanctioned expression of grief for those impacted by the loss. Further, a funeral is often a way to express feelings that have no words.

According to Rebecca J. Lester in an article in Psychology Today, “One of the most important features of rituals is that they do not only mark time, they create time. By defining beginnings and ends to developmental or social phases, rituals structure our social worlds and how we understand time, relationships and change.”

A funeral marks a moment in time, the end of a unique and unrepeatable human being. It also marks a different time going forward. The funeral of a husband or wife marks the end of the marital relationship and the beginning of a new social status as widow or widower.

There are several trends in our society that alter how we experience ritual. First, the pandemic fundamentally altered what was possible for rituals. Thousands of people were denied the ability to gather together with their extended family and community of meaning to acknowledge the passing of their loved one. Second, people may decline to have any kind of ritual because they think it is “easier.” They fear being emotional in front of other people or not being able to handle the starkness of a funeral. Finally, more and more people no longer participate in organized religion because the church has become irrelevant to them. In losing that community, they also lose access to life cycle rituals.

Rituals have been part of the human experience for thousands of years. They take on increased meaning in times of uncertainty and change. The death of a loved one can be the greatest upheaval one experiences in this life.

Dimitris Xygalatas, in an online publication called The Conversation writes, “Rituals are highly structured. They require rigidity, and must always be performed the “right” way. And they involve repetition. The same actions are done again and again. In other words, they are predictable.”

It is precisely the rigidity that turns so many people off when it comes to religious rituals. But the unintended consequence is that the anchor rituals provide is lost. Rituals can ground us when we feel unmoored from everything familiar. This grounding helps to reduce anxiety and stress caused by the death of a loved one.

For millions of people around the world who were enamored with the longest reigning Monarch in the United Kingdom, the pomp and circumstance and ritual provided a structure and a socially acceptable opportunity to grieve. Every person in the massive crowd was there for the same reason. There is tremendous affirmation of one’s feelings when they are shared by others who gather for the same ritual.

Rituals are part of what build resilience in us. They provide us with something to hang on to when it seems everything else is falling apart. The sense of control rituals provide is illusory to be sure, but they offer a measure of comfort for the moment that allows one to move forward in the grieving process.

This is not a pitch to get people to go back to church for the sake of life cycle rituals. It is, however, a plea for considering the place and power of ritual in the changes that happen in life. A ritual can be anything you need it to be. A gathering of people, some music, a little poetry, some story telling. The possibilities are endless. Regardless of how the ritual is put together, it is an anchor in the midst of change that helps define next steps.