Author: Pat Liberty

Buy Nothing Day began in Vancouver, BC, in 1992 when a group of people decided to openly challenge the culture of consumerism.

Within a few years it moved to the day after Thanksgiving in the United States.  Also known as Black Friday, it is one of the ten busiest shopping days of the year. Economic forecasts for the coming year are often conjectured from the shopping days between Thanksgiving and Christmas, beginning with Black Friday.

 Buy Nothing Day is now observed in 65 nations around the world by people of every religious persuasion, those of no particular religion and everywhere in between.  The common commitment is to openly challenge the pervasive culture of consumerism that is degrading the environment and creating bigger gaps between the rich and the poor. 

Participating in Buy Nothing Day is a concrete action that stands against the economic machine that kicks into high gear in the season known as “The Holidays.”   It is a powerful reminder that can help anchor the rest of the season. 

Jesus was born into a peasant family in a time when crushing poverty was the lot of most people.  His message of release, justice and peace touched people at their deepest level of need.  As people who celebrate the in-breaking of the kin-dom in the world, focusing our giving on those in need, and shunning mindless consumerism is a subtle but powerful witness to the true meaning of this season.

This year why not discover the surprising joy of buying absolutely nothing on Black Friday? 

This pandemic is getting old. Actually, it’s been old for a while. And it shows no sign of letting up any time soon. Angst, worry and uncertainty are the stock of this time. These are all expressions of grief.

The loss of normalcy is a source of grief. Everywhere we turn we are reminded that these are strange times and we are far from what normal looked like before March. When life is normal we can delude ourselves into thinking we are in control. We are permitted no such delusion in these days. Wearing a mask, not being able to gather with family and friends, working from home (if we have a job at all) are stark reminders that life is profoundly different–and not in a good way.

Part of the loss of normalcy is the uncertainty of it all. It’s unclear how long this is going to last. We don’t know when we will be able to live life without angst about getting ill or making someone we love ill.  It’s hard not to worry about an unknown future.

Grief in this pandemic asks the question, “how much more normal are we going to lose?” Not having an answer is hard.

Another part of grief is the loss of feeling safe in the world. It’s dangerous to go out and be with people. It’s dangerous to go shopping. It’s dangerous to be in groups. It’s dangerous to gather with our family. Thanksgiving is potentially lethal, and there’s no way we can make that okay.

Pandemic grief is a constant emotional whiplash. It is understandable why depression and anxiety rates are skyrocketing across age groups and other demographics.

While we may be on the fence about gathering for Thanksgiving, consider a few things. It is one day, twenty-four hours just like any other day. It is a Thursday; there are 52 of them every year. It is the fourth Thursday; there are 12 of them every year. The day, however, is imbued with such emotional baggage it’s hard to remember it’s just another day. Thanksgiving is the quintessential God, mom and apple pie holiday. Historically there is more travel on Thanksgiving than any other day of the year. It’s possible the loss of this day is a flash point for other losses related to the pandemic. If it seems your reaction to all this is a little out of whack, consider what part of it has to do with Thanksgiving and what part has to do with pandemic weariness and grief.

What’s important to remember is that feelings are neither right nor wrong; they simply are. You may be feeling anger, sadness, uncertainty or just some amorphous blob in the pit of your stomach that has no name. When it comes to feelings, the only way out is through.

Sit with your feelings; take time to feel them and name them. Validate your losses, fears, anxieties and sadness.  Remember that so far your track record at getting through difficult times is 100%. When you feel like you are coming unglued, remember you are stronger than you think and more resilient than your know. Think about what has helped you through hard times in the past. How can these things be helpful to you now? Remember that even if you are a weepy mess, you are fine just as you are and you are going to be fine going forward.

Remember that sheltering in place does not mean isolating in place. Reach out. Learn how to use FaceTime or Zoom so you can “see” your family and friends. Remember the telephone; it doesn’t transmit the virus even if you sneeze.

Work at creating a new normal in this COVID bubble of weirdness. Establish some kind of routine. Include the things you love to do and balance them with the stuff you have to do. Take up a new hobby. Read a book, learn to knit, organize a closet, or weed through clothes you haven’t worn since Ford was president. The options are endless. Allow some time each day to check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. Don’t beat yourself up, just feel. Allow those feelings to be expressed in your body. If you are feeing angry or frustrated beat a pillow or go outside and scream. If you are feeling sad, allow yourself a good cry. If you are feeling uncertain, do something that brings stability in the midst of all that feels like shifting sand. Balance doing something productive with quiet time for reflection. Consider starting a pandemic journal where you write your thoughts and feelings from day to day. Focus on the small things you can do to control something in the moment. Sometimes deciding if you want milk or juice with a meal can give a little foothold in the shifting sand.

Limit how much news you watch. Enough said.

Don’t “should” on yourself. Some days you will not be able to get out of your own way. It’s okay to binge-watch Netflix and zone out. If you are feeling deeply depressed, consider reaching out to a therapist or your doctor. Telehealth and teletherapy appointments are pretty common these days.

 Remember that grief is at least one part love. Loving the life we live and the circle within which we live is about loving life. Missing the complex and wonderful life we share with others is missing what and whom we love. Be gentle with yourself.

Reconciliation is one of those five dollar theological words that often seems like a mash-up between some skewed understanding of forgiveness and a win/lose that requires the “loser” to finally agree the other party is right. Then a few coats of varnish are slapped on to make it all look pretty and life goes on much as before; nothing changes.

In one form or another, reconciliation is a central concept in most of the world’s great religions. It is called by various names. Reconciliation is the language of the Judeo Christian tradition with which I am most familiar.

Let’s begin with what reconciliation is NOT. It is not a free pass for the wrong one party does to another. It is not a forgiveness freebie where one party agrees to “forgive,” often through clenched teeth and tight jaws. It is not leaving the status quo in place and going on as if nothing happened. Reconciliation is not forgive and forget (that is Shakespeare, not the Bible).

Reconciliation requires far more of us than cheap talk. The goal is a restoration of relationship in which both parties feel heard and a mutual agreement about how to move into the future is constructed. It asks that we be more concerned about the relationship than about being right. It asks us to move forward with mutual compassion and care. Reconciliation asks us to have enough humility to trust that something new is possible.  Reconciliation asks us to remember and honor the past and each other while seeking a common truth and a shared story that allows moving forward.

Differences are the not the problem. The problem is that we stop listening to each other. Layers of anger, hurt, feeling diminished and judged are piled on until the original issue is obscured and the ability to communicate is destroyed. In truth, differences can be a source of richness to our relationships, adding different perspectives and different views. Unity among people is never meant to be sameness.

The goal of reconciliation is healed relationship. There are multiple kinds of reconciliation: interpersonal, among groups, among regions/territories or countries, with creation and with the Divine (however one understands the Divine). Reconciliation takes a step toward Shalom, which means far more than the absence of war. Shalom is about deep well-being for people and creation. It is rooted in love, respect and compassion.

Reconciliation begins when one is ready to “lose oneself” and take ownership of the division and the reality of the pain it causes.  It is inherently risky, fully intentional and it takes time. It requires stepping across invisible lines of division in the hope of realizing a glimpse of the Holy One’s dream for all of creation. Reconciliation doesn’t ask who is right or wrong; it asks what is possible when honesty and desire come together for the sake of a shared future.

There are four steps to the reconciliation process, and it is a process not an event. These four steps are linear, but they are not a cookbook recipe to follow that guarantees an outcome.

The first step in the reconciliation process is some awareness that the relationship is broken. One individual or group reaches out to the individual or group with whom the relationship is broken. Both parties agree to show up for the process.

 Second, there must be a willingness to listen at a deep level, scraping away all the inflammatory rhetoric and hyperbolic language to create a different energy that allows understanding and empathy. Empathy does not require one’s cognitive assent to how the problem is stated. Running it through the brain to decide if it is a worthy position does not lead to reconciliation. Empathy is a response of the soul. It asks for genuine compassion toward a pain or hurt one may not understand.  

Third, there must be sufficient preparation on both parts. A commitment to respectful listening, making “I” statements, and moving away from blame are firm commitments each party can make ahead of time to ground the process. Each party needs to decide what they are prepared to do to be reconciled. There can be no persuasion or coercion in true reconciliation. Boundaries and limits must be respected.  

Finally, there must be a frank discussion of what actions are necessary (on both sides) for change going forward. Then the work of living into the new relationship begins.

It is painfully clear that a host of relationships are broken in our world, our country, our communities and our families. There is much talk about healing and surely healing is needed.  True healing is predicated on reconciliation. There is a temptation to rush toward some form of “healing” that is much like the mash-up on reconciliation referenced earlier. It doesn’t work and it adds another layer onto an already broken relationship. Let’s start the work of reconciliation with a vision of what it might look like and a willingness to listen deeply and lovingly to one another. 

At the time of this writing, it is likely the outcome of the election will be unclear. It is also possible this lack of clarity may continue for some time. What is clear is that there will be discontent. For some the very life of our democracy depends on the occupant not getting another four years. For others, the very life of our democracy depends on the opposite.  

If you did your civic duty and voted, there is little that can be done to further impact the outcome. If you did not vote, shut up. It’s as simple as that. If you don’t participate in the process, you don’t get to gripe about the outcome whenever it becomes known. 

What we can do and what we must do is not lose heart. Paul’s second letter to the church in Corinth says, “So we do not lose heart…because we look not at what can be seen, for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal (2 Cor. 4:16,17). We stay the course of what we know to be right. We continue to advocate for the poor and dispossessed. We continue to participate in civic life in ways that reflect our values. We continue to speak truth to power. We continue to bear witness to the light, love of justice and mercy in the midst of darkness that will not abate no matter who wins the election. The divisions at work in our country will not be magically healed after the election. This is what makes our work so very important.

The truth is that our world is a deeply broken place. Greed and power conspire to hold some up while pounding others down. Every “ism” that defines us is one more layer that separates what ultimately should not be separated. History repeats itself. In the time Jesus lived, the Romans exploited and extorted money from the poor. Exorbitant taxes that no one could pay caused people to lose their land. Antiquated religious laws embodied in corrupt religious leaders colluded with corrupt political leaders to place social and religious burdens on the poorest of the poor. It was to these people that Jesus spoke the Good News. It is to these same people in our time that we are to speak that same Good News.

Our loudest petitions and prayers are spoken in action and deed. St. Francis said, “Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words.” Every act of love, every bit of kindness and every deed of justice no matter how small engages the inherent goodness of the universe. The Holy is everywhere and we both embody it and bear witness to it when we live from our deepest center where the Holy lives in us. By whatever name the Holy is known: God, Buddha, Yahweh, HaShem, Allah, Ik Onkar, Vishnu or one of the other hundreds of names for God in the great religions of the world, at the very heart of it all is love.

Each day let us live life to the fullest, making choices that bear witness to the Holy. Every day let us live for the best of life and the integrity of creation. Every day let us dream for others the same dreams we dream for ourselves. We need one another because we cannot do these things in a vacuum. We need encouragement to show up for love in a world that is not always loving. We need affirmation that we are on the right track when it feels like we are all alone in doing what is good and right and just. We need voices around us that speak the same language, so we can hang on to hope when hope seems hard to find. 

The race for a world where there is enough for all and love is the law will not be to the swiftest or the loudest. It will be to those who persevere and do not lose heart. The world needs you to be loving, gracious, passionate witnesses to the best of what it means to be human, for therein lies the hope of the world. You are not alone.

It seems the loudest voice in the Judeo-Christian tradition is the white “evangelical christian” voice.  The problem is that this voice is not evangelical in the true sense of spreading the life giving word of God.  Neither are they Christian in their following of Jesus’ words and teachings.  They are a socio-political block with a conservative political agenda designed to roll back human rights (especially women’s rights), reproductive rights, care for the poor and disadvantaged and stewardship of the environment while catering to the richest members of society.

As we go to the polls next week, here are some thoughts to ponder:

• “The arc of the universe bends toward justice.” (William Sloane Coffin)
• Love is the essence of every major religious tradition in the world.
• Spirit is the holy in all of us and in creation.
• Creation reveals God.
• We are God’s agents of love, peace and justice in the world.
• The teachings of Jesus are our guide and guard.
• Jesus was a Middle Eastern Jew.  There is no room for anti-Semitism in the Christian faith.
• Jesus was a person of color.  There is no room for racism in the Christian faith.
• Mere tolerance is a low bar for people of faith.
• The first and second testaments stand on equal ground.
• The Bible inherently favors the poor and disadvantaged.
• Jesus’ harshest judgements were focused on the wealthy and the religious leaders who colluded with them.
• The Christian life is a life of dissent against the injustice of the world.
• All paths to God are equally valid; those who claim the name of Christian choose one path among many.
• We are called to preach the gospel at all times and, if necessary, to use words (St. Francis of Assisi).
• Healthcare is a right not a privilege.
• Those working full time should earn enough to support their family.
• There is enough for everyone’s need, not everyone’s greed.
• The world would be a better place if humans practiced what they preach when they claim the name of Christian.
• The gospel agenda is non-partisan.
• We cannot give into the politics of despair, fear and powerlessness. 

Vote the values of the gospel.

Not belonging to one of the thousand hate groups active in the United States does not let us off the white supremacy hook. Hate groups are active throughout the United States. The Southern Poverty Law Center has an interactive map you can access here. https://www.google.com/search?q=SPLC+hate+groups+map&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS803US803&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj7s4Pct8PsAhUvhXIEHbQYDnIQ_AUoA3oECAoQBQ&biw=1536&bih=754#imgrc=MlL3oj79aDeSOM

In order for hate groups to survive and proliferate, an entire cultural substructure is needed. Each level of the pyramid depends on the level below it (see pyramid here https://www.google.com/search?q=White+supremacy+pyramid&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS803US803&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjD6vfRtsPsAhXvlHIEHTHXDDwQ_AUoAXoECAcQAw&biw=1536&bih=754. ). It’s easy to think that telling an off-color joke or letting a racist relative’s comment pass unchallenged has nothing to do with white supremacy. Such behaviors are, however, a lower level of the cultural substructure that contributes to white supremacy.

It may seem like an overstatement, but after reading Layla F. Saad’s New York Times best-selling book, Me and White Supremacy, it will become painfully clear. This is not an easy book to read, it leaves no place to hide. With deft skill she exposes attitudes from the most blatant forms of white supremacy to the most subtle. Her words are a profound invitation to explore our attitudes, prejudices and internalized privilege.

Beginning with a language correction she expands the phrase “People of Color” to Black, Indigenous and People of Color (BIPOC). One of the first lessons is that by collapsing all groups of people into one group, individual cultures and unique traditions are flattened. The traditions of Indigenous Peoples in our land are very different from the experience of Blacks who were brought here as slaves over four hundred years ago. “People of Color,” according to Damon Young in a GQ article in August 2020 says, “People of Color has become a linguistic gesture, trade jargon related to a market tested veneer of inclusivity…it is a white people thing.” Acknowledging that there are many different groups of people with skin colors other than white is a way to begin honoring their unique histories and traditions.

Saad defines white supremacy as a “racist ideology that is based on the belief that white people are superior in many ways to people of other races and that therefore, white people should dominate over other races.”  (p.12)

This is a journaling book. Engaging the reflection questions at a deep level is the beginning of inner transformation that is the foundation of changing the world. She explores the deepest recesses of the human heart and spirit where racism and privilege hide and exposes them for what they are. Over the course of thirty days Saad systematically peels back each layer.

In Week One she explores white privilege, white fragility, tone policing, silence, superiority and exceptionalism. In Week Two she exposes the topics of antiblackness in general, antiblackness against black women, men and children, and stereotypes, as well as cultural appropriation and color blindness.

Week Three tackles apathy, tokenism, optical allyship, white saviorism and white centering. Week Four explores power relationships and commitments and further breaks the topics into white feminist leaders, how we relate to our own families and friends, what deep values are held and the fears that exist around losing privilege.

Each chapter is a masterful exploration of each strand of thought, perception and feeling that together make up the strong cord of racism and white supremacy in our nation. Lest we delude ourselves into thinking white supremacy is really not a problem, something not endemic to our culture, review where we are as a nation in the white supremacy pyramid. We are frighteningly close to the apex. While we may not participate in violent actions, those actions are contingent on our complicity as articulated in lower levels of the pyramid.

As necessary as it is to protest police officers shooting unarmed black men, it is equally necessary to deal with our own privilege. As troubling as systematic discrimination against BIPOC is in our society, it is equally troubling to explore the attitudes we harbor deep within when we are honest with ourselves.

Saad’s book is one to read over and over again, engaging the questions at a deeper level each time. If attitudes are the first level of the white supremacy pyramid, then changing the pyramid begins with changing our attitudes. Changing our attitudes begins with changing our hearts.

Being “politically correct” has fallen into disfavor. Since the occupant has made inflammatory language acceptable again, people all over the country are asserting their right to “free speech” as a thin veil for judgement and hate speech. The occupant cited political correctness as a “big problem” in the United States. He further posited that he does not have time for being “politically correct” and neither does the country.

The pushback against being “politically correct” was captured in a poll by the Pew Research Center in which the majority of Americans thought people were too easily offended. Fewer than 40% of Americans thought people needed to be more careful about the language they use to avoid offending people.

The divisions of who thinks what are predictable. Among Republicans 78% say people are too easily offended and only 21% say people should be more careful to avoid offending others. Among Democrats, 61% think people should choose language more carefully and 37% say people are too easily offended. The occupant, in his penchant for dividing the country, has sharpened the lines by his use of inflammatory rhetoric and judgmental actions.

It reflects a growing lack of civility in public discourse. When the example set by the leader is judgmental and lacks compassion, it is only a matter of time before people follow the path set out.

It appears that the tide began to turn in the 1960’s when what Ruth Perry calls the “New Left Movement” used politically incorrect to describe people who were out of step with more inclusive and embracing language as a way of honoring diversity. Conservatives across the country leveled criticism at being “politically correct.” Instead of an invitation to be more open, it became a source of derision toward those advocated a more compassionate language about others.

Nowhere is the argument about inclusivity and honoring differences more obvious than in the shift away from Columbus Day to International Indigenous People’s Day. Cities and towns are re moving statues of Christopher Columbus and teaching a more balanced history of colonization. It is a hot topic and widely supported on both sides of the conversation.

Persistent in the midst of it all is the notion that Columbus “discovered” America. This assertion ignores the fact that what is now the United States was filled with tens of thousands Native peoples. They were systematically slaughtered, imprisoned and removed from their land. The history of how Native Americans were treated during the colonial period is appalling. It is a small thing to shift the focus from the colonizer to the people who were victimized by colonization.

Being “politically correct” is about intentionally choosing language that honors people who are different from you. It is a way of showing respect and decency, something that is in short supply in these days of the occupant’s verbal rampage through all that is compassionate and just.

There is much to be celebrated in being “politically correct.” It simply means to embody words and actions that avoid disparaging, insulting or offending people who belong to oppressed groups. There are many groups subject to discrimination, disrespect or prejudice; age, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, physical or mental disability and every “ism” used to describe another.

Holding political correctness as a goal for individual speech and behavior forces us to think about our own often unconscious oppressive attitudes and prejudices. We do well to call out those who use disparaging language and engage in hateful actions toward others. We can help to reclaim a public ethic of compassionate language without ever saying the words “politically correct.” It is simply decent language and caring behavior.

Others may deride or make fun of you, stand proud. Remind them that being “politically correct” is simply a way of not being hateful.